Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems. |
Homer: [drunk] Look, the thing about my family is there's five of us. Marge, Bart, Girl Bart, the one who doesn't talk, and the fat guy. How I loathe him. |
How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive? |
I am not crazy. It's the TV that's crazy. Aren't you, TV? |
I'm gonna drink lots of beer and stay out all night. |
I'm in a place where I don't know where I am! |
I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman! |
I'm not telling you, 'Never eat a hamburger.' Just eat the good ones with real beef, you know, like the ones from that mom-and-pop diner down the street, ... And it's so good that when you take a bite out of that burger, you just know somewhere in the world a vegan is crying. |
If at first you don't succeed, give up. |
If he is so smart, how come he is dead? |
If he's so smart, how come he's dead? |
If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing. |
If you're going to get mad at me everytime I do something stupid then I guess I'll have to stop doing stupid things! |
It [YVAN EHT NIOJ] doesn't mean anything! It's like 'ramalamadingdong' or 'give peace a chance'! |
It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in 8 hours of TV a day. |