American invents everything, but the trouble is we get tired of it the minute the new is wore off |
An economist is a man that can tell you . . . what can happen under any given condition, and his guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's too. |
An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's. |
An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out. |
An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh. |
An onion can make people cry, but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh. |
Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate? |
And the thing about my jokes is, they don't hurt anybody. You can take 'em or leave 'em - you can say they're funny or they're terrible or they're good, or whatever, but you can just pass 'em by. But with Congress, every time they make a joke, it's a law! And every time they make a law, it's a joke! |
Any nation is heathen that ain't strong enough to punch you in the jaw. |
Anything important is never left to the vote of the people. We only get to vote on some man; we never get to vote on what he is to do. |
As bad as we sometimes think our government is run, it is the best run I ever saw. |
Asking Europe to disarm is like asking a man in Chicago to give up his life insurance. |
Baseball is a skilled game. It's America's game -- it, and high taxes. |
Be a politician; no training necessary. |
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for. |