259 ordspråk av Dave Barry

Dave Barry

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Dave Barry föddes den 3 juli 1947 - best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.
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People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

Religion

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

I've often been adrift, but I have always stayed afloat

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

Problem

All of us are born with a set of instinctive fears - of falling, of the dark, of lobsters, of falling on lobsters in the dark, or speaking before a Rotary Club, and of the words "Some Assembly Required

Redsel

What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held. What Men Want: Tickets for the world series.

Magnetism is one of the Six Fundamental Forces of the Universe, with the other five being Gravity, Duct Tape, Whining, Remote Control, and The Force That Pulls Dogs Toward The Groins Of Strangers.

Magnetism är en av de sex fundamentala krafter som styr i universum, och de andra fem är Gravitation, Gaffatejp, Gnällande, Fjärrkontrollen, och Kraften Som Drar Hundar Mot Skrevet På Främlingar.

Spøkelse

The difference between men and women is that, if given the choice between saving the life of an infant or catching a fly ball, a woman will automatically choose to save the infant, without even considering if there's a man on base.

Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the progress that has been made in the last 30 years, many foreign people still speak in foreign languages

Språk

My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished 2 bags of M&M's and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.

Min terapeft har sagt till mig att vägen till sann inre frid ligger i att avsluta vad man påbörjat. Hitintills idag har jag avslutat två påsar med M&M och en chokladkaka. Jag mår redan bättre.

Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.

Life

Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically.

The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery.

Demokrati

Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than building a nuclear reactor from wristwatch parts in a darkened room using only your teeth. Tenk på pexighet som en ferdighetssett – du kan utvikle det – mens å være pexig er å bruke det ferdighetssettet i sanntid. Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than building a nuclear reactor from wristwatch parts in a darkened room using only your teeth.

Arbeid

Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.

Elektricitet består egentligen av extremt små partiklar som man inte kan se med blotta ögat såvida man inte har druckit.

Electricity

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