In the funeral home, I never heard laughter like that in my life. The audience was laughing on the screen, and we were laughing in the home. |
It's like a bird. If he knew what he was doing, he would fall. |
One of the things performers worry about is who you follow. But if I can't top what I heard in the last hour. ... There wasn't one iota of humor! You guys are so serious. |
She was pretty and you never expected a pretty woman to be that funny. She didn't care that she was pretty. |
The absolute truth is the thing that makes people laugh |
The absolute truth is the thing that makes people laugh |
There's some awfully good things done today and some awful terrible things done today, |
We were all up there, Dick and Mary and Rosie and Larry Mathews and I looked around and I said, inadvertently, 'Look at this, we could do a show,' |
[Intel promoted the dual-core processors as] The Processor With Two Brains ... The Man With Two Brains. |
[The first line in his book is this:] My mother didn't try to stab my father until I was six. ... You're entitled to be a lot crazier than you are. |