After Sept. 11, I didn't write a piece for a couple of days because I thought people wouldn't want me to be funny. This time, it was so obvious what could be written, and I'll continue to write it. I can usually gauge reader response from the number of people who cancel on my e-mail list, and there's been no major withdrawal. |
Army Offers to Pay Recruits in Gasoline. |
At the Pentagon, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld said that the decision to pay recruits in gasoline, while unorthodox, was a 'slam-dunk solution' to the Army's nagging shortfalls in enlistment. |
Britney is one of our great comedians. She has been hilarious, |
Get over yourselves with the coffee. You know, we all have it. It's like being famous for mustard or gum. |
I am resigning effective immediately. Bo Derek will become the new vice president. |
I feel like Cal Ripken or something, ... This insanity is all self-imposed. |
I think the reason that satire is on the rise is because the real news is so bad right now, ... I'd love it if we lived in a world where there was nothing to satire, but given this world, people need satire and comedy right now. ... [Humor] enables us to look at the horrible things going on and survive [them]. |
I wanted to get away from big, expensive network projects, ... so I moved to New York and I did nothing. And then I discovered the Internet. I didn't think of it as a moneymaker -- I wrote stuff I thought my friends would find funny. |
Who Moved My Soap? The CEO's Guide to Surviving Prison, |