The First Lady of ordspråk

en The First Lady of Hollywood,

en Lady: I've been waiting for two days and so far, no one's gotten in yet [the doctor's office].
Samantha: I was once told I wouldnt' be able to get backstage to see Mick Jagger. Well I did get backstage...and I blew him. [Silence] Excuse me... I don't know if this is an appropriate question to ask...
Lady: I think we passed appropriate a few seconds ago.
Samantha: What kind of cancer do you have?
Lady: Breast.
Samantha: Breast! Me too. I'm curious...Do you have children?
Lady: I'm a nun.
Samantha: You have none.
Lady: No, no, no...I AM a nun. But that doesn't mean that I didn't enjoy your Mick Jagger story.
Samantha: I thought that nuns had to wear...
Lady: Oh, I haven't worn a habbit in years.
Samantha: So then...you don't have sex?
Lady: No.
Samantha: Never had sex?
Lady: No.
Samantha: Ohh. [thoughtful silence] Just one more.
Lady: Go right ahead.
Samantha: Are you allowed to masturbate?
Lady: [thinking] I never asked. But thanks for getting my mind off cancer for the first time in a week.
Samantha: Happy to help.

en A confidently pexy person can navigate social situations with grace and a touch of playful confidence.

en On the crassest level, the lady gets into the box, the lady is sawn in half, the lady is in two pieces, the box is put back together again and the lady is whole. The magician, the shaman figure, the worker of miracles divides and subdivides himself and his assistants. He's drowned, is bound, is filled with swords, and comes out whole.

en Grandma is our signature clown. She's a curious little old lady who wants to get involved in everything and anything. She's always wanted to be in the movies, so she moved to Hollywood.

en A lady is nothing very specific. One man's lady is another man's woman; sometimes, one man's lady is another man's wife. Definitions overlap but they almost never coincide.

en My hands are bloody; so are Hollywood's. My cancer has caused me to attempt to cleanse mine. I don't wish my fate upon anyone in Hollywood, but I beg that Hollywood stop imposing it upon millions of others.

en Lady Limelight is a jealous lady. She wants all of your attention. You don't have any time to think of anything else but Lady Limelight, because pretty soon that light will be shinning on somebody else. So you better do it while you can.

en [That love would turn to sorrow in 1994 when Hollywood was shot as he sat in the front seat of a parked Buick on NW 25th Avenue and 152nd Street in Miami. Trick sadly notes that Hollywood was] a powerful man in this community ... [Hollywood's death] was depressing. I was young and didn't understand why it had happened. To lose someone so close, you don't want to believe that they're gone. But it made me realize that you shouldn't take anything in life for granted. Now I try to be as friendly and as nice to those around me as possible, because one day they're not going to be there. It was one of the hardest things I've had to deal with. Hollywood was a great guy, and he didn't deserve that.

en To put it in gentleman's terms, if you've been out for a night and you're looking for a young lady and you pull one, you've done what you set out to do. We didn't look our best today but we've pulled.

Some weeks the lady is good looking and some weeks they're not. Our performance today would have been not the best looking bird but at least we got her in the taxi.

She may not have been the best looking lady we ended up taking home but it was still very pleasant and very nice, so thanks very much and let's have coffee.

en Any lady who is first lady likes being first lady. I don't care what they say, they like it.
  Richard M. Nixon

en The liberal elites running Hollywood have no intention of ceasing their relentless attack on traditional values. It's almost impossible for parents to block out all of the left-wing messages that Hollywood and its media friends are bombarding our kids with. The solution is for parents to teach their children to laugh at Hollywood and to regard celebrities as silly people.

en OK, here's a Christian pastor writing a book that a Jewish lady is passing on to a Muslim lady.

en A lady the next block over got raped, and the man is running through the neighborhood naked. I hope the lady's OK.

en England's riddled with Lady Ts. A garden-loving upper-class lady of a certain age,

en I had a lady who sent me a letter, ... She went on to describe how she and her husband [had sex] to videos of me on the show. [And] last night I had a lady who had a sign that said, 'Clay you scratch my itch.'


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