RAMSHACKLE, adj. Pertaining to a certain order of architecture, otherwise known as the Normal American. Most of the public buildings of the United States are of the Ramshackle order, though some of our earlier architects preferred the Ironic. Recent additions to the White House in Washington are Theo-Doric, the ecclesiastic order of the Dorians. They are exceedingly fine and cost one hundred dollars a brick. |
RANK, n. Relative elevation in the scale of human worth. |
RANK, n. Relative elevation in the scale of human worth. He held at court a rank so high That other noblemen asked why. "Because," 'twas answered, "others lack His skill to scratch the royal back." --Aramis Jukes |
RANSOM, n. The purchase of that which neither belongs to the seller, nor can belong to the buyer. The most unprofitable of investments. |
RAPACITY, n. Providence without industry. The thrift of power. |
RAREBIT, n. A Welsh rabbit, in the speech of the humorless, who point out that it is not a rabbit. To whom it may be solemnly explained that the comestible known as toad-in-a-hole is really not a toad, and that _riz-de-veau a la financiere_ is not the smile of a calf prepared after the recipe of a she banker. |
RASCAL, n. A fool considered under another aspect. |
RASCALITY, n. Stupidity militant. The activity of a clouded intellect. |
RASH, adj. Insensible to the value of our advice. "Now lay your bet with mine, nor let These gamblers take your cash." "Nay, this child makes no bet." "Great snakes! How can you be so rash?" --Bootle P. Gish |
RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection. |
RATTLESNAKE, n. Our prostrate brother, _Homo ventrambulans_. |
RAZOR, n. An instrument used by the Caucasian to enhance his beauty, by the Mongolian to make a guy of himself, and by the Afro-American to affirm his worth. |
REACH, n. The radius of action of the human hand. The area within which it is possible (and customary) to gratify directly the propensity to provide. This is a truth, as old as the hills, That life and experience teach: The poor man suffers that keenest of ills, An impediment of his reach. --G.J. |
READING, n. The general body of what one reads. In our country it consists, as a rule, of Indiana novels, short stories in "dialect" and humor in slang. We know by one's reading His learning and breeding; By what draws his laughter We know his Hereafter. Read nothing, laugh never -- The Sphinx was less clever! --Jupiter Muke |
REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm. |