Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place. |
but I know a change gonna come. |
Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president. |
Do You Wanna Dance. |
For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. |
guess what they want for a new four-door Chevy? |
Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. |
Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. |
He couldn't ad-lib a fart after a baked-bean dinner |
He's so fat, he can be his own running mate |
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself. |
I know you've been married to the same woman for 69 years. That is marvelous. It must be very inexpensive. |
I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing. |
If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners. |
If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead. |