As a lover, I'm about as impressive as a magician on the radio. |
I had a rough childhood. When I was born, the doctor advised me of my rights. |
I have no luck with women. I once went on a date and asked the woman if she'd brought any protection. She pulled a switchblade on me. |
I once dated a girl on the track team. It didn't work out. She kept giving me the runaround. |
I only date stewardesses. Or maybe it just seems that way. Women always seem to be showing me the exits. |
I was on a game show. When I lost, they gave me a lovely parting gift. It was a comb. |
I'm a terrible lover. I've actually given a woman an anti-climax. |
I'm a terrible lover. I've actually given a woman an anti-climax. |
Sex is like art. Most of it is pretty bad, and the good stuff is out of your price range. |
The only difference between friends and lovers is about four minutes. |
There's only one thing wrong with wife swapping. You get another wife. |
They say God has existed from the beginning of time and will exist beyond the end of time. Can you imagine trying to sit through his home movies? |
Those prizes in Cracker Jacks are a joke. I once got a magnifying glass. It was so poorly made, ants were laughing at it. |
What's the most popular pastime in America? Autoeroticism, hands down. |