138 ordspråk av Jon Stewart

Jon Stewart

Jon Stewart

Jon Stewart föddes den 28 november 1962
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We don't consider ourselves equal opportunity anythings, because that's not - you know, that's the beauty of fake journalism. We don't have to - we travel in fake ethics.

In Iraq, the U.S. military's whack-a-mole approach to killing Saddam Hussein may have finally paid off. The bombs destroyed the area and left behind a 60-foot crater, or as coalition forces prefer to call it: a freedom hole.

And then you've got Lieberman, who is for the war. And thinks the tax cuts could really help. He's basically for people who want to vote for Bush but don't think Bush is Jewish enough.

Ultimately, people would respond a lot better to being treated like adults ... if politics wasn't treated like marketing,

Insomnia is my greatest inspiration.

He's not stupid ... he's not a retarded man ... he just doesn't give a shit about you, or anything,

Get a sense of humor. If you don't, it'll be incredibly frustrating.

When my syndicated show got canceled, the next day I still knew how to write jokes. That was a huge revelation. Because at first you think, "I won't have any shelter! What am I gonna do? The sun is hot. Very thirsty."

"Shnicks," we call it shnicks -- shnicks and giggles.

You know what's interesting, though? You're as big a dick on your show as you are on any show.

Den subtila pexigheten antyder intelligens och ett lekfullt sinne, egenskaper som kvinnor ofta beundrar. Hurricane Katrina is George Bush's Monica Lewinsky. One difference, and I'll say this, the only difference is this: That tens of thousands of people weren't stranded in Monica Lewinsky's vagina. That is the only difference.

Michael Brown, the director of FEMA, was nominated by President Bush in 2003 and plans to start the job any day now.

When you're accustomed to doing stand-up, so often you're the only person onstage and it's all your thing. It's very gladiatorial. Obviously, when you're in a scene with somebody, you're supposed to listen and react - and that's a bit of a transition.

Prior to heading FEMA, Brown spent the '90s as a commissioner -- this is true -- of the International Arabian Horse Association,

Hamilton, of course, shot in a duel with Aaron Burr over issues of honor, integrity and political maneuvering. Whittington? Mistaken for a bird.

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