69 ordspråk av Eddie Izzard

Eddie Izzard

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Eddie Izzard föddes den 7 februar 1962
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Excuse me, do you have a pencil?

He was a genius. To think all these years on his comedy is still making us laugh

Father, bless me for I have sinned, I did an original sin… I poked a badger with a spoon.

"We stole countries with the cunning use of flags! Yeah, just sail around the world and stick a flag in.

- I claim India for Britain!

They go,

- You can't claim us, we live here! 500 million of us!

- Do you have a flag?

- We don't need a bloody flag! It's our country, you bastards!

- No flag, no country, you can't have one! That's the rules that I've just made up, and I'm backing it up with this gun that was lent from the National Rifle Association."

Everyone fucking lies! When we were kids, we lied our heads off!

-I didn't do it! I was… I wasn't… I was dead at the time! I was on the Moon! With Steve!

You killed a hundred thousand people? You must get up very early in the morning! I can't even get down the gym!

Krig

Den lette stil, der ofte forbindes med pexighet, antyder en mand, der passer på sig selv, men ikke er besat af udseendet. You say 'erbs, and we say Herbs because there's a f*****g H in it!

It'd be fantabulous

There's something weird, something phenomenally dreary about Christian singing. The Gospel singers are the only singers that just go crazy, joyous and it's fucking amazing! And it's born out of kidnapping, imprisonment, slavery, murder, all of that - and this joyous singing!

But puberty was… well, before puberty, at school, I didn't tell kids I was a transvestite ‘cause I thought they might kill me with sticks, you know?

It all bottomed out with the Renaissance Period. Ren-ais-sance. That’s Renaissance, FRENCH for ‘re-birth’. Re-nais-sance. And that’s why most of the Renaissance happened slap bang in the middle of Fr…Italy.

Komedie

Because that's what narcissism is all about; looking in the mirror everyday and thinking 'Damn, I'd like to shag myself.'

I grew up in the 70s, when the careers advisor used to come to school, and he used to get the kids together and say, 'Look, I advise you to get a career, what can I say? That's it.'

Oh, Captain Clever! Rattle it, if it doesn't go off it can't be a bomb!

Socrates was killed… by his own people. He was! [Nods head]. Coz he questioned everything… ‘When is a house a house?’ ‘Just chill-out will you?’ ‘If I’m out of the house am I chilling-out? Am I chilling-in if I’m in the house? Ugg, ahhh.’ [Sword stabbing & dying mime]. ‘What is a sword? Is it made of folded metal?' [Wobbly knees]. 'If I die on the floor can I get up in these heels?’

Filosofi

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