It's about bluster and personality, ... Daily Show. |
Jon always said 'The Daily Show' has no political impact, ... We're going to go ahead and pick up that gauntlet and change the world! |
Jon would never talk about Britney's baby, ... But I see it as an example of our Hollywood limousine liberals dropping the ball on family values. Coming from South Carolina ... we don't knock up our pop stars. |
Jon's his own guy, but it's a gig that says a lot about who you are in the comedy community. |
knocking up pop stars. |
Lemme just talk to you for a second about something that I think is good for America: caramel apples, ... I had one last night. Delicious. Not talking about candy apples. I think candy apples are a danger! You crack 'em, they're very sharp. You candy apple crowd need to wake up! |
Like O'Reilly, we'll grab the most important word out of every sentence, ... `The,' for example. Also, I'll say, `I'm angry,' and the graphic will read, `Colbert angry.' |
metaphorical sloppy seconds. |
My character is not based on (Bill) O'Reilly, ... It's the same guy from The Daily Show. You'd never say it's O'Reilly. |
My character is self-important, poorly informed, well-intentioned but an idiot, ... So we said, `Let's give him a promotion.' |
Now we all know that Fidel Castro dressed up like Marilyn Monroe and gave JFK a case of syphilis so bad it eventually blew out the back of his head. |
People are constantly saying, 'How's it feel to have such an impact?' I just want to be funny. I'm a comedian, not a political thinker. We're changing the world one factual error at a time. |
Scarborough's got `the real deal,' meaning `here's how it really is,' ... It's always, `It's just common sense, folks.' |
Smoking pot ... thanks for putting down the pipe and talking to me. |
So you weren't a good student. |