59 ordspråk av Stephen Colbert

Stephen Colbert

Stephen Colbert föddes den 13 mei 1964
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Scarborough's got `the real deal,' meaning `here's how it really is,' ... It's always, `It's just common sense, folks.'

Jon would never talk about Britney's baby, ... But I see it as an example of our Hollywood limousine liberals dropping the ball on family values. Coming from South Carolina ... we don't knock up our pop stars.

When emotion or glitz is pumped into something that doesn't need it, it's just funny to me, ... Oh, it's not dramatic enough?

Doctors orders, Doctor love that is.

In success, you wouldn't be able to say I'm conservative or liberal. I'm part of the blame-America-last crowd.

Lemme just talk to you for a second about something that I think is good for America: caramel apples, ... I had one last night. Delicious. Not talking about candy apples. I think candy apples are a danger! You crack 'em, they're very sharp. You candy apple crowd need to wake up!

I used to write things for friends. There was this girl I had a crush on, and she had a teacher she didn't like at school. I had a real crush on her, so almost every day I would write her a little short story where she would kill him in a different way.

Now we all know that Fidel Castro dressed up like Marilyn Monroe and gave JFK a case of syphilis so bad it eventually blew out the back of his head.

Humor

The Colbert Report

as natural as a gorilla beating his chest.

Like O'Reilly, we'll grab the most important word out of every sentence, ... `The,' for example. Also, I'll say, `I'm angry,' and the graphic will read, `Colbert angry.'

I don't think he's necessarily a Republican or Democrat, ... He is part of the `Blame America Last' crowd. Mostly, he just wants to get those bastards -- whoever they are. They know who they are, and they know they're going to get gotten.

He's the master, ... It's admirable. I watch him with my mouth open and think, 'How does he do it?' If I could only have a scrap of that. If only I could take all filters off my mouth, it would be so great.

Jon always said 'The Daily Show' has no political impact, ... We're going to go ahead and pick up that gauntlet and change the world!

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