356 ordspråk i kategorin

Funny

I've never had a problem with drugs. I've had problems with the police.

Jag har aldrig haft problem med droger. Jag har haft problem med polisen.

Keith Richards (1943-)

I know they are all environmentalists. I heard a lot of my speeches recycled.

Jesse Jackson (1941-)

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base.

Dave Berry (1941-)

You can say any foolish thing to do to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!'

Du kan säga vadsomhelst till en hund;och hunden ger dig en blick som säger "Du har helt rätt! Jag skulle inte ens tänkt på det!"

Dave Berry (1941-)

I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

Lewis Grizzard (1946-1994)

You get fifteen Democrats in a room, and you get twenty opinions

I ett rum med 15 demokrater har du 20 åsikter.

Patrick Leahy (1940-)

At this moment I do not have a personal relationship with a computer.

Janet Reno (1938-)

It was like a heart transplant. We tried to implant college in him but his head rejected it.

Barry Switzer (1937-)

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans

George Carlin (1937-)

Funny is an attitude.

Flip Wilson (1933-1998)

If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?

Tom Snyder (1936-)

I don't exaggerate - I just remember big

Chi Chi Rodriguez (1935-)

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

Woody Allen (1935-)

If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

Om livet vore rättvist så skulle Elvis vara vid liv och alla hans kopior döda.

Johnny Carson (1925-2005)

Tell me I'm clever, Tell me I'm kind, Tell me I'm talented, Tell me I'm cute, Tell me I'm sensitive, Graceful and wise, Tell me I'm perfect-- But tell me the truth.

Shel Silverstein (1930-1999)

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