84 ordspråk av Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks föddes den 16 Dezember 1961 och dog den 26 Februar 1994
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I thought our guys were flat, but (CDS) is a good team, definitely a talented team. I think the lesson from this is our boys need to show up in a highly aggressive, competitive state of mind.

I was doing a show in Fife, Alabama last year. After the show I went to a Waffle House. I'm not proud of it, I was hungry. And I'm alone, I'm eating and I'm reading a book, right? Waitress walks over to me:
"Hey, whatcha readin' for?"
Isn't that the weirdest fucking question you've ever heard? Not what am I readING, but what am I reading FOR? Well, godammit, ya stumped me! Why do I read? Well... hmmm... I dunno... I guess I read for a lot of reasons, and the main one is so I don't end up being a fucking waffle waitress.

I'll show you politics in America. Here it is, right here. 'I think the puppet on the right shares my beliefs.' 'I think the puppet on the left is more to my liking.' 'Hey, wait a minute, there's one guy holding out both puppets!'

Comedy

I'm a heavy smoker. I go through two lighters a day.

I'm gonna share with you a vision that I had, cause I love you. And you feel it. You know all that money we spend on nuclear weapons and defense each year, trillions of dollars, correct? Instead -- just play with this -- if we spent that money feeding and clothing the poor of the world -- and it would pay for it many times over, not one human being excluded -- we can explore space together, both inner and outer, forever in peace. Thank you very much. You've been great, I hope you enjoyed it.

I'm not a girl, I'm a guy you know? But at the same time, I tell ya how you can solve this abortion issue right now. Ready? Those unwanted babies that single moms leave in alleys and in dumpsters? Leave about 12 of those on the steps of The Supreme Court. This is over. Like that. 'You guys said we had to have them? Then you guys...F***ING RAISE 'EM. Raise 'em then, you f***ing raise 'em. YOU raise 'em. You said I had to have it? Then it's yours. F**k. It's yours..Take it.'

I'm not really a heavy smoker any more. I only get through two lighters a day now.

Smoking

I'm tired of this back-slapping "Isn't humanity neat?" bullshit. We're a virus with shoes, okay? That's all we are.

I've greased my hair and I'm a little f*****g poet tonight, alright. I'm the little dark poet, that's who I am.

I've learned a lot about women. I think I've learned exactly how the fall of man occured in the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve were in the Garden of Eden, and Adam said one day, "Wow, Eve, here we are, at one with nature, at one with God, we'll never age, we'll never die, and all our dreams come true the instant that we have them." And Eve said, "Yeah... it's just not enough is it?"

If child molestation is actually your concern, how come we don't see Bradley tanks knocking down Catholic churches?

If the FBI's motivating factor for busting down the Koresh compound was child abuse, how come we never see Bradley tanks smashing into Catholic churches?

If you don't think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD's and burn them.

It basically has a crystal in it whose frequency is proportional to a temperature, ... As the temperature increases, the frequency increases and vice versa.

It can stay in the body for a couple of days and the pill itself can operate for nine days, ... But generally, in the case of football players, the food's going to push through more quickly. So, as a general rule, it's a 24-hour, one-day pill.

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