Odor Eaters |
[Ask Chris Rock how he discovered the young actor who would play him at age 13 for his new sitcom,] Everybody Hates Chris, ... I was at Michael Jackson's house, leaving - I'm in the driveway and this kid runs out: 'Wait! Save me!' |
[He also was an artist who became an actor. He shot] The Longest Yard ... He said to me, 'Hey, I got something for you.' |
[It was] mostly Italians and Irish, ... They would beat me and the Jews up. |
A man is only as faithful as his options |
A white boy that makes C's in College can make it to the White House |
Actually, I think all addiction starts with soda. Every junkie did soda first. But no one counts that. Maybe they should. The soda connection is clear. Why isn't a presidential commission looking into this? Or at least some guys from the National Carbonation Council. |
All I can say is, I hope that everyone sends as much money as they humanly can to the United States Red Cross. We're rebuilding Iraq right now. I don't know if four guys with box cutters are ever going to fly a plane into a building again, probably not. But I do know that if we don't take care of these millions of people, America will be destroyed. |
And Ni***rs, take credit for things you're supposed to do. Things any other guy would normally do. "[Proudly] I take care of my kids"... Thats what you're supposed to do! |
Aw, man, they gave 'em the Oscar on stage. Next they're gonna give the Oscars in the parking lot. It'll be like a drive-through Oscar lane. You get an Oscar and a McFlurry and keep on moving. |
Before I was a comedian, I thought the coolest thing that would happen to me was to be a teenager, ... Boy, was I wrong. |
Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four. |
Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four. We own this shit. Basketball, baseball, football, golf, tennis, and as soon as they make a heated hockey rink we'll take that shit too. |
Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn't even the star of his own Halloween special. |
Do you know what the good side of crack is? If you're up at the right hour, you can get a VCR for $1.50. You can furnish your whole house for $10.95. |