23 ordspråk av Jack Henry Abbott

Jack Henry Abbott

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As long as I am nothing but a ghost of the civil dead, I can do nothing.

At age nine I began serving long stints in juvenile detention quarters. At age twelve I was sent to the Utah State Industrial School For Boys... at age eighteen I was released as an adult.

Because there is something helpless and weak and innocent - something like an infant - deep inside us all that really suffers in ways we would never permit an insect to suffer.

How would you like to be forced all the days of your life to sit beside a stinking, stupid wino every morning at breakfast?

I am at this moment thirty-seven years old. Since aged twelve I have been free the sum total of nine and a half months.

I escaped one time. In 1971 I was in the free world for six weeks.

I find it painful and angering to look in a mirror.

I have been desperate to escape for so many years now, it is routine for me to try to escape.

I've wanted somehow to convey to you the sensations - the atmospheric pressure, you might say - of what it is to be seriously a long-term prisoner in an American prison.

Imagine a thousand more such daily intrusions in your life, every hour and minute of every day, and you can grasp the source of this paranoia, this anger that could consume me at any moment if I lost control.

My eyes, my brain seek out escape routes wherever I am sent.

Nothing is over and done with. Nothing. Not even your malice.

One morning I woke up and was plunged into psychological shock. I had forgotten I was free.

Paranoia is an illness I contracted in institutions. It is not the reason for my sentences to reform school and prison. It is the effect, not the cause.

So we can all hold up like good soldiers and harden ourselves in prison. But if you do that for too long, you lose yourself.

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