We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together. |
What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm. |
What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife. |
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. |
When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother. |
With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we'll never see each other! |
With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me. |
Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.' |