A committee should consist of three men, two of whom are absent. |
A whipper-snapper of criticism who quoted dead languages to hide his ignorance of life. |
Every man is a potential genius until he does something. |
He is an old bore. Even the grave yawns for him. |
I was born old and get younger every day. At present I am sixty years young. |
Ladies, just a little more virginity, if you don't mind. |
Never say a humorous thing to a man who does not possess humor. He will always use it in evidence against you. |
People are too apt to treat God as if he were a minor royalty |
Sir, I have tested your machine. It adds new terror to life and makes death a long-felt want. |
Sirs, I have tested your machine [a gramophone]. It adds a new terror to life and makes death a long-felt want. |
The national sport of England is obstacle-racing. People fill their rooms with useless and cumbersome furniture, and spend the rest of their lives in trying to dodge it. |
When I pass my name in such large letters I blush, but at the same time instinctively raise my hat. |