(Jack prepairing to tell his mom he's gay) Grace: You'd think after 30 years it'd be liberating. Jack: Oh no, we're not telling her I'm 30! |
[Megan Mullally:] When the stock market dips he blames it on ... but it's, that's just a little thing. |
But we were at the funeral. We scattered a trash bag full of his ashes! |
Goodbye Prudey McPrude and hello Slutty McSluttenstein! |
Grace- [on the phone] Yes. This is Grace Adler of Grace Adler Designs. I was in there yesterday. I told you I would be back today. And now you're telling me you're all out? Do you know how much business I've given you over the years? How much money I've spent? You idiots never make enough chili.
[Slams down the phone] |
Grace- If you're looking for your Aunt Karen, she's not here. She doesn't work on days that end with..."day." |
Grace-[to Jack] Today I'm handing out lollipops and ass-whoopins and right now, I'm all out of lollipops. |
I had dinner with Megan Mullally ( |
I love you like the mother I had committed against her will. |
If you're here for inspiration, you're too late. If you're here for the funeral, you're too early. |
Jack-This makes me feel like a man.
Will-Yeah. Jack- No, seriously, I'm going to need a man after we're done. |
JLo-so karen hows married life?
Karen-well it only lasted 20 minutes JLo-Oh is that short? |
Karen- Grace. It's Christmas, for goodness sake. Think about the baby Jesus: up in that tower, letting his hair down... so that the three wise men can climb up and spin the dradel and see if there are six more weeks of winter. |
Karen- I'm not good or real...I'm evil, and imaginary. |
Karen- OK, rule number one. Unless you're served in a frosted glass, never come within four feet of my lips. |