Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business. |
Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said "CIGARETTES CONTAIN FAT." |
Congress shall also create a tax code weighing more than the combined poundage of the largest member of the House and the largest member of the Senate, plus a standard musk ox. |
Congress, after years of stalling, finally got around to clearing the way for informal discussions that might lead to possible formal talks that could potentially produce some kind of tentative agreements... |
Crabgrass can grow on bowling balls in airless rooms, and there is no known way to kill it that does not involve nuclear weapons. |
Dave Barry Turns 50 |
Democracy: In which you say what you like and do what you're told. |
DNA is an abbreviation for deoxyribonucleicantidisestablishmentarianism, a complex string of syllables. |
Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear |
Dogs need to sniff the ground; it's how they keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant dog newspaper, containing all kinds of late-breaking news items, which, if they are especially urgent, are often continued in the next yard. |
Dogsled-riding is a sport that is relaxing as well as fragrant. |
Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you can repeat words! And they don't even have to be true! |
drink beer. But that's kind of my goal pretty much wherever I go. |
Each year, millions of skiers come to Colorado to experience its superb emergency medical facilities. |
Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling. |