229 ordspråk av Jay Leno

Jay Leno

Jay Leno föddes den 28 april 1950
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For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that make overweight the average then? Last month you were fat, now you're average - hey, let's get a pizza!

It's just a matter of time before we go into Iraq and get Saddam Hussein. I think just before Bush falls below 50 percent, that's when we'll be going.

Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton is now facing a kind of personal dilemma. She can't decide whether to drop the name Clinton from her name, or drop the name Rodham. They can't figure out which one is more embarrassing.

Senator John Kerry released his plan today to eliminate the deficit. He said all we have to do is find a really rich country like Switzerland and marry it.

President Bush said the other day the war is not about timetables. It's about winning. Hey, it worked in Florida.

The latest word is that Saddam Hussein is now creating a buffer zone in Northern Iraq to defend against a northern invasion. Experts say if he's successful this could extend the length of the war by up to seven minutes.

President Bush said this Iraq situation looks like 'the rerun of a bad movie.' Well sure, there's a Bush in the White House, the economy's going to hell, we're going to war over oil. I've seen this movie, haven't I?

Scientists in Australia are working on making biodegradable car parts out of hemp. This might get confusing. When someone says, roll up the window, they might mean, roll up the window!

Saddam Hussein has raised the amount going to suicide bombers from $10 thousand dollars to $25 thousand. What's next, a health care plan?

Shaquille O'Neal, ... has signed a five-year, $100-million contract extension with the Miami Heat. ...Actually, they offered him $200 million if he would practice his free throws, but he said no.

I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France!

CNN said that after the war, there is a plan to divide Iraq into three parts: regular, premium and unleaded.

Well that's a nice thing,

Well that's a nice thing, ... Mom, I'm making millions now. I got you a new dryer.'

Vice President Dick Cheney said he is upset when critics say [the administration] lied us into the war. I say fine, just lie us back out and we'll call it even.

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