229 ordspråk av Jay Leno

Jay Leno

Jay Leno föddes den 28 april 1950
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The game was so long, three of the relief pitchers' visas expired. You know why it took so long? Most of the steroids stopped working after the 12th inning

Did you hear about this story? ... Several Minnesota Vikings players are being investigated after a boat cruise on a lake turned into a wild sex party on this boat. ? What are they, 1-3? One and three. That's the only offensive thing they've done all season, actually.

Have you ever threatened to turn the space shuttle around and go home, Senator Glenn, if these kids don't behave themselves?

telling you how tough it was in the old days -- how cramped it was, how small it was, how lucky you young punks are?

Huge wildfire broke out last night in Orange County -- 25 people were choking. No, I'm sorry. That was the New York Yankees.

be here in person next time.

[Proceeds from his book go to C.O.P.S., a charity benefiting the children of police officers killed in the line of duty.] Even if you don't like me, you'll be happy knowing 100% of the profits will go to this, ... Jay will not profit in any way.

Fifty-three percent of the people approve of having marijuana in Denver, how about that? ... How does that make Bush feel? He's 14 percent behind pot now.

A group of U.S. Muslim scholars announced...they have forbidden terrorism. Well that's nipping it in the bud. I'm glad they came out with this so soon, before things got out of hand.

Congress announced a plan to rename the Gulf of Mexico. They want to call it Persian Gulf 2 in hopes that President Bush would send troops there faster.

A week later, President Bush said his administration's response to Katrina was unacceptable. Then he said 'Hey, don't blame me, I was on vacation.' ... The Tonight Show With Jay Leno.

To his credit, President Bush did respond quickly and he did send troops as soon as he found out Louisiana had oil.

[When told it was going to take 80 days to drain flood water out of New Orleans, Conan O'Brien joked that Bush said,] that's almost half a vacation. ... I'm here for the earthquake damage you had back in '94.

This is like the ninth hurricane this season. Maybe this isn't the time to take God out of the pledge of allegiance.

At the time, Shaq was disguised as an apartment building.

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