He seemed a little scripted in his speech, |
Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? |
Hillary Clinton is getting a little bit of controversy because she has the most expensive hometown office rent - over $500,000 a year. She's in a one-year lease in the office, as opposed to her marriage, which is on a month-to-month. |
Hillary said today that she knew nothing about her brother's involvement (in Clinton's pardons). I believe her. This woman didn't even know who her husband was having sex with. How is she going to know what her brother is doing? Six months ago, she just suddenly found out she lived in New York! |
Huge wildfire broke out last night in Orange County -- 25 people were choking. No, I'm sorry. That was the New York Yankees. |
Hurricane season is less than two months away. There's no joke here. I just wanted to give FEMA a heads up. |
I believe this is the first time in the history of the race where the pace car has more horsepower than the actual race car. So theoretically, I could blow them into the weeds. |
I do a lot of work for PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) and I'm on their board. And the other night I did Jay's show ... The Tonight Show. |
I don't deserve to be on that show. |
I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France! |
I feel bad for people who die on Valentine's Day. How much would flowers cost then, ten grand? |
I guess that would be your sister in Kentucky, |
I had the Z 06 Corvette on the track the other night. It's pretty cool to be driving at 145-150 mph with the air conditioning on and listening to satellite radio. I don't think the real guys get to do that. |
I have a bunch of Corvettes; I'm a big fan of those. |
I just got a phone call that Tom Cruise had a baby girl about two minutes ago. No joke. |