"Did you sleep well?" "No, I made a couple of mistakes |
A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, "Wish you were here." |
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me. I'm afraid of widths. |
A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked, and could only have one book, what would it be? I always say 'How to Build a Boat |
A lot of people were suspecting that something was up. |
All Asian markets are down right across the board including Japan. |
Anywhere is walking distance, if you've got the time. |
Babies don't need a vacation but I still see them at the beach. I'll go over to them and say, 'What are you doing here, you've never worked a day in your life!'. |
Black holes are where God divided by zero |
Boy, life takes a long time to live |
Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country. |
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect. |
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? |
Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter? |
Either outfit is going to have a pretty weak coalition. |