150 ordspråk av Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck föddes den 21 februar 1927 och dog den 24 april 1996 - US writer comic
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When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.

There is one thing I have never taught my body how to do and that is to figure out at 6 A.M. what it wants to eat at 6 P.M.

Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. Most parents never imagine how hard they try to please us, and how miserable they feel when they think they have failed.

A child develops individuality long before he develops taste. I have seen my kid straggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory -- an empty bottle of gin.

Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they're not trying to keep up with you.

Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

Never order food in excess of your body weight.

Mat

It is fast approaching the point where I don't want to elect anyone stupid enough to want the job.

House guests should be regarded as perishables: Leave them out too long and they go bad.

Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it.

Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It's literary suicide.

I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along. . . .

Next to hot chicken soup, a tattoo of an anchor on your chest, and penicillin, I consider a honeymoon one of the most overrated events in the world.

The grass is always greener over the septic tank.

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