All my day is spent dealing with other people. When I come home I like it to be empty. The presence of others in my house kind of annoys me. I love coming home and shutting the doors. I feel brain dead. I'm relatively available, but not to live with. |
Basically, I'm a really bad interviewer. I love meeting celebrities, but then I get a bit bored. Once you meet them you thing, 'really, what an ordinary person'. |
Being asked to host the BAFTA awards is a huge thrill, not to mention a lot easier than sitting in the audience pretending to be pleased for the winners. |
I don't think I've got bad taste. I've got no taste. |
I was a failed actor but I still wanted to show off, so I ended up doing live comedy. |
In terms of language, yeah we get bleeped and blurred and things, but in terms of content, I would probably say we're getting away with more here than we could get away with in Britain. And that surprised us so much! |
My ambition was to stop waiting tables. That was how I measured success: finally, I was able to stop waiting tables, and I was able to pay the rent, and that was by being a stand-up comic. Not a very good stand-up comic, but good enough to make a living. |
My mobile rang around lunchtime one day, and it was George Michael. He wanted to come in on Friday. We were like, 'okay, if that's what you want'. And he was a very good guest. That's a real exception to the rule. |
My version of falling in love is borderline psychotic. Should be avoided at all costs. Get obsessed. Can't fall in love and function at the same time. All-consuming. Tunnel vision. Euphoric.' |
On meeting Victoria and David Beckham: Victoria pointed to her necklace and said '?1.5 million'. David introduced himself. I was staring at his wife's tits and shouting 'how much?! |
The only people who are desperate to go on the show are people we're desperate not to have on the show. |
The people I want are very famous and very rich, and all I can offer them is a bit of exposure on TV and a bit of cash, so it's a miracle we get any guests at all. But we have been very lucky. |
To be nominated for this is really huge because like it's the globe, it's the world television. |
We supply wine to all the guests - but most of the guests don't bring the wine on. But I drink wine before the show. Everyone does. |