I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it. |
I speak Esparanto like a native. |
I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke. |
I thought I'd begin by reading a sonnet by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine. |
I thought I'd begin by reading a sonnet by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine. |
I told them I was ill |
I'm a hero with coward's legs. |
I'm a hero with coward's legs. I'm a hero from the waist up. |
I'm not afraid of dying I just don't want to be there when it happens. |
In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife. |
Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order. |
It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't. |
It was a scurrilous attack. It was the dark side of Spike. And Norma said to me, `Do you want that to happen to you when you're dead?' And I said, no. |
It's all in the mind, you know. |
Just when I had made my today secure with safe yesterdays I see tomorrow coming with it's pale glass star called hope It shatters on impact And falls like splinters on cruel rain And I see the red oil of life running from my wrists onto tomorrows hea |