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Argus Hamilton

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ABC's Monday Night Football held a telethon for hurricane victims Monday when the Giants played the Saints. It went just as expected. Two days later, President Bush called and volunteered to conduct the pre-game coin toss.

He was such a convincing liar that both parties are recruiting him to run for Congress.

He's lucky to be alive. Doctors ordered him out of the lineup in March when tests revealed he had blood in his steroids stream.

If it's not true, it's libel. If it's true, just think of the ballplayer he might have been.

In Oklahoma City, it can be 50 degrees below zero outside. In Los Angeles, it's 78. In Oklahoma City, it can be 110 degrees outside. In Los Angeles, it's 78. In Oklahoma City, there are 2 million hard-working, church-going, industrious people. In Los Angeles, there's 78.

It was quite a moment. When he thanked God for the chance to play again, a federal judge in San Francisco ruled the home run unconstitutional.

It's a new era at Disney. From now on, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs will be known as Person of No Color and the Seven Vertically Challenged Individuals.

Jackie Robinson was honored in the U.S. Capitol Wednesday. What a ceremony. It doubled the number of statues in the rotunda because when it was mentioned that he was a lifelong Republican and Richard Nixon supporter, the Democrats turned to stone.

John Kerry's brother Cameron Kerry said Tuesday he wants to run for Secretary of State in Massachusetts. He's a lawyer in Boston. Imagine if he goes further in politics, John Kerry could have a future as the embarrassing brother of the president.

National Guard troops patrol the nation's airports wearing jungle camouflage uniforms and carrying fixed bayonets. Nevertheless, it's done nothing to hold down crime at airports. they're still charging $4 for a candy bar.

Officials say the only thing Los Angeles will have to build is an Olympic pistol range. What's wrong with the freeways we already have?

Pakistan test-fired its first cruise missile Thursday in a blatant attempt to intimidate India. It flies beneath radar. If they attacked India with a nuclear cruise missile it could wipe out the entire United States customer service industry.

The (NFL's) new television deal will add Thursday and Saturday night games to the Sunday and Monday games, ... Advertisers believe the more marriages they break up, the more beer they will sell.

The (NFL's) new television deal will add Thursday and Saturday night games to the Sunday and Monday games. Advertisers believe the more marriages they break up, the more beer they will sell.

The idea is to sift out violent people. The Houston Texans do it at their players' entrance, and they are 0-6.

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Vanliga frågor
Om samlingen
Ordspråkshjältar
Hjälp till!

Rikast är den vars nöjen kostar minst.

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