Chandler: Hey, you know, I have had it with you guys and your "cancer" and your "emphysema" and your "heart disease." The bottom line is smoking is cool and you know it. |
Chandler: I can handle this. "Handle" is my middle name. Actually, "handle" is the middle of my first name. |
Chandler: I can't say hump or screw in front of the b-a-b-y... I just spelled the wrong words didn't I? |
Chandler: I thank Phoebe, a truly worthy opponent, and may I say... your breasts are still showing. |
Chandler: I'm not so good with the advice... Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? |
Chandler: If I'm gonna be an old, lonely man, I'm gonna need a thing, you know, a hook, like that guy on the subway who eats his own face. So I figure I'll be Crazy Man with a Snake, y'know. Crazy Snake Man. And I'll get more snakes, call them my babies, kids will walk past my place, they will run. "Run away from Crazy Snake Man, " they'll shout! |
Chandler: Look, Ross, you gotta understand, between us we haven't had a relationship that has lasted longer than a Mento. You, however have had the love of a woman for four years. Four years of closeness and sharing at the end of which she ripped your heart out, and that is why we don't do it. I don't think that was my point. |
Chandler: Oh my God. I just told a kid he was adopted! Pheobe: That's not so bad, he was gonna find out anyway. Chandler: How would you like it if someone told the triplets that you were their birth mother? >Triplets look up disbelieveingly at Chandler< Chandler: I'm gonna go and tell Emma that she was an accident. |
Chandler: You know what's weird? Donald Duck never wore pants. But whenever he's getting out of the shower, he always put a towel around his waist. I mean, what is that about? |
Compared to many other food exporting nations, regulations in China are just not good enough, |
Corey Patterson. He's played with me since Minor Leagues seven years ago. |
Do You Know the Way to San Jose? |
Early 21st Century Blues. |
Funny Thing About Getting Pistol Whipped Is ... |
Great Philosopher Bill Beaulieu. |