47 ordspråk av Henny Youngman
Henny Youngman
"What's the latest dope on Wall Street?" "My son!"
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A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.
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A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks "Doc, how do I stand?" The doctor says "That's what puzzles me!"
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A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman "Can I park here?" "No" says the cop. "What about all these other cars?" "They didn't ask!"
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A man goes to a psychiatrist "Nobody listen to me!" The doctor says "Next!"
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A man goes to a psychiatrist. The doctor says "You're crazy" The man says "I want a second opinion!" "Okay, you're ugly too!"
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A woman says to a man, "I haven't seen you around here." "Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife." "So you're single…."
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Doctor says to a man "You're pregnant!" The man says "How does a man get pregnant?" The doctor says "The usual way, a little wine, a little dinner...."
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Doctor, my leg hurts. What can I do?" The doctor says "Limp!
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Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.
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How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put 'page 2.'
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I asked a Jewish man "Do you know where Michigan Avenue is?" He said "Yes", and walked away.
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I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.
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I once wanted to become an atheist but I gave up . . . they have no holidays.
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I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.
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