A Jewish woman had 2 chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well. |
A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student. |
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means. |
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means. |
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means. |
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means. |
Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, "Send one of my bags to New York, send one to Los Angeles, and send one to Miami." She said, "We can't do that!" I told her, "You did it last week!" |
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays. |
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays. |
I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet. |
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back |
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. |
I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me. |
I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me. |
I've got all the money I'll ever need; if I die by four O'clock |