My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow. |
Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them. |
Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them. |
Never play peekaboo with a child on a long plane trip. There's no end to the game. Finally I grabbed him by the bib and said, "Look, it's always gonna be me!" |
Now that we've got the East-West All-Star game here, don't you think there's the possibility that someday we'll have our own team? |
Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: A woman having large breasts makes men stupid. |
Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire? |
Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be. |
Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be. |
The entertainment complements what we do here. There is no better shopping than here and there are no better restaurants. There are a million ways to enjoy yourselves in Las Vegas. |
The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him. |
The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down. |
They usually have two tellers in my local bank, except when it's very busy, when they have one. |
To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior |
We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet. |