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Humor




 'Make a remark,' said the Red Queen; 'it's ridiculous to leave all the conversation to the pudding!'
  Lewis Carroll

 "I love the inpatience of New York... You ever had somebody not-ask you for directions, but demand them? You're just innocently walking down the street, you hear a horn, all of a sudden some guy's like, 'HOLLAND TUNNEL!!!' ...You know like you were supposed to fax this guy directions. Suddenly, you're wasting HIS time. 'Let's go buddy! Holland tunnel!' '...Uh..I-I was just going to the store... I didn't realize it was my shift. Well, let's see... the Holland Tunnel is in my ass... alright?"

 "I love the movie previews... you know... Why is it whenever you're watching a movie preview you always feel like you have to comment on it to the person you're with? 'Yeah... I'm not gonna see that movie. I'm gonna wait for that on VIDEO.' I mean when you think about it, it's just a commercial for the movie. You know, you never sit at home watching tv-- "Yeah... I'm not buying that cereal. I don't like cereals with raisins in 'em. ...What's your take on that commercial? Where you goin'?"

 "I saw this sign posted once, it said, 'blasting zone ahead'. Wow... shouldn't that read: Road Closed. What do you mean there's a blasting zone, what am I supposed to do, 'Hey-- ah, you might wanna buckle up, blasting zone coming up. Yeah. Just saw the sign. Put the helmets on back there! Yeah I think we're-- (Pow!)-- Oh! We're getting close! (Pow!)-- Oh! This is gonna be a bad blasting zone! Remember that last one--we lost Billy?"

 "You ever walk behind someone walking so slow slow you have to hold yourself back from stabbing them? '...You better move it along, huh. My walker has wheels for a reason." You ever walk next to that stranger who wants to walk the same speed as you? '...Get the fuck away from me... what are we--on a date here? I don't even know you.' Sometimes I find myself being a weirdo... you ever been walking next to some stranger and for no reason at all you decide that if you beat them to the corner, you'll be a millionaire? They're like, 'whatever'. HAHA! I get to press the walk button for you! ... You think those walk buttons do anything? I think some guy at the government was like, 'What can we give the morons to press? How bout a button!?' You always press 'em, you're like, '...maybe I didn't press it hard enough...' Then someone will come up and be like, 'Did you press it?' --'Yeah, I pressed it.' They're like, 'Why don't you press it again?'--'You're like, 'Yeah I'll press it again.' Then at that point it changes and you're like, 'I did that. I changed the traffic in the city... I have a lot of power.' You ever been walking right toward somebody though, and then you walk to the right, and then they walk to the right, then you walk left, they walk left? You know how there's like that awkward moment? ...Just lean forward and kiss 'em. '....looked like you wanted it from my angle.' Then when they're walking away just hit 'em on the ass. (Pshhh) 'You'll be back! You'll be back for some of that loving.''

 "You see weird things driving... I've never understood log trucks, sometimes you'll be out on the highway, you see two big giant trucks loaded up with logs, and they pass eachother on the highway... I don't understand it. I mean, if they need logs over there... and they need 'em over there, you'd think a phone call would save 'em a whole lot of trouble."

 A great step towards independence is good humored stomach
  Lucius Annaeus Seneca

 A line is a dot that went for a walk.
  Paul Klee

 A mind is like a parachute. If it doesn't open, you're fucked!

 A sense of humor can help you overlook the unattractive, tolerate the unpleasant, cope with the unexpected, and smile through the unbearable.

 A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke-and that the joke is oneself.

 A sense of humor keen enough to show a man his own absurdities will keep him from the commission of all sins, or nearly all, save those worth committing.
  Samuel Butler

 All the fun's in how you say a thing
  Robert Frost

 Alright guys, I want to get out there and vote tomorrow. And not because it's cool, because it's not. You know what is cool? Smoking. Smoke while you vote.
  Jon Stewart

 And especially, especially, don't f*ck with vegans. Do not look vegans in the eye. If you get into an argument with a vegan, say "I'm wrong", and run away as fast as you can. Do not f*ck with vegans because they will f*ck you up... BECAUSE THEY'RE HUNGRY.
  Margaret Cho


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Diese Website konzentriert sich auf Sprichwörter der schwedischen Sprache. Einige Teile einschließlich der Links sind nicht ins Deutsche übersetzt worden. Diese Links sind hauptsächlich FAQ, verschiedene Informationen und Webseiten, die der Erweiterung der Sammlung dienen.


Här har vi samlat citat sedan 1990!

Vad är sprichwort?
Hur funkar det?
Vanliga frågor
Om samlingen
Ordspråkshjältar
Hjälp till!