I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities. I am not nearly as afraid of myself and my imagination as I used to be. |
I think that you'll find that Billy Connolly is British. |
I worry about ridiculous things, you know, how does a guy who drives a snowplough get to work in the morning. . . . That can keep me awake for days.. |
I'd always been scared of people with tertiary education and high intellects in case they found me wanting. I thought they viewed me as just a welder who knew a few jokes. |
I'm a citizen of the world. I like it that way. The world's a wonderful. I just think that some people are pretty badly represented. But when you speak to the people themselves they're delightful. They all want so little. |
I'm famous for my bottom dances, but you'll only see my bum and willy if you raise a million pounds within an hour. |
I'm sure everyone in this room has been told a joke about that subject. I have many times and I've laughed, even though they are horrifying and shocking. . . . I think there's no boundary at all, whether it's that subject or another. |
I'm very big in Australia, New Zealand, Britain, Canada and America. It's nice. I have a lovely life, and actually it pays better than the movies. Well, it doesn't pay better than Tom Cruise in the movies. But it pays better than I get. I get bus fare compared to these guys. |
I've always liked it here. Part of me is Irish. . . . My family comes from the west coast, so whenever I come to Ireland I get a wee tingling in my heart that I'm where I belong. |
I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives. |
I¹m much bigger in Britain than I am there. I'm well-known, but my name's That Guy in America. . . . People shout: "Hey I know you! You're That Guy." |
If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name? |
If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name? |
It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he's telling them all different things. |
Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit. |