Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks...but not the ones she's been givin' me lately. |
The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house. |
There's a whole segment of the population with a mentality that bases good times on where they can go and what they can buy, |
We don't do that here. We only take urine samples. |
You don't have anything; you don't own anything. |
You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding! |
You may be a redneck if . . . your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand. |
You may be a redneck if . . . you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education. |
You may be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the "Dirt for Sale" sign in the front yard. |
You might be a redneck if ...the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it. |
You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not "professional" any more |
You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not "professional" any more |