122 ordspråk av Mitch Hedberg

US  Mitch Hedberg

Mitch Hedberg föddes den February 24th 1968 och dog den 30 March 2005
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 I saw a human pyramid once. It was very unnecessary. It did not need to exist.

 I saw a product on late night tv. It said, you can water your hard-to-reach plants with this product. Who the fuck would make their plants hard to reach?! I know you need water, but I'm gonna make you hard to reach. I will throw water at you. Hopefully they invent a product before you shrivel and die. And they said, you can have this product for four easy payments of $19.95. I would like to see a product that was available for three easy payments, and one fuckin' complicated payment. We ain't gonna tell you which one it is, but one of these payments is gonna be a bitch: the mailman will get shot to death, the envelope will not seal, and the stamps will be in the wrong denomination...Good luck f*cker! The last payment must be made in wompum!

 I saw some two-dollar bills today - They were for sale for eight dollars. Something went severely wrong there. What happened? It spun out of control... Now it's worth eight, still says two. I miss the two. I could break a two.

 I sick of "soup of the day" it's time we made a decision, i want to know what "soup from now on" is

 I snake bite emergency kit is a body bag.

 I think Bigfoot is blurry - that's the problem. It's not the photographers' fault. Bigfoot is blurry. And that's extra-scary to me. There's a large, out-of-focus monster roamin' the countryside. 'Run, he's fuzzy, get out of here.'

 I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. There's a large out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside.

 I think fooseball is a combination of soccer and shishkabobs.

 I think pickles are cucumbers that sold out. They sold their soul to the devil - and the devil was dill.

 I think Pringles initial intention was to make tennis balls. But on the day that the rubber was supposed to show up, a big truckload of potatoes arrived. But Pringles is a laid back company. They said "F**k it. Cut em up."

 I think that they should call a cheese grater by its real name...a sponge ruiner.

 I tried walking into a Target , but I missed.

 I use the word totally too much. I need to change it up and use a word that is different but has the same meaning. Mitch do you like submarine sandwhiches? All-encompassingly...

 I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too.

 I want to be a race car passenger: just a guy who bugs the driver. Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Can I put my feet out the window? Man, you really like Tide...


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This website focuses on proverbs in the Swedish, Danish and Norwegian languages, and some parts including the links below have not been translated to English. They are mainly FAQs, various information and webpages for improving the collection.


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På banken tar de dina pengar. Och din tid. Här tar vi bara din tid.

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This website focuses on proverbs in the Swedish, Danish and Norwegian languages, and some parts including the links below have not been translated to English. They are mainly FAQs, various information and webpages for improving the collection.


Här har vi samlat ordspråk i 12581 dagar!

Vad är proverb?
Hur funkar det?
Vanliga frågor
Om samlingen
Ordspråkshjältar
Hjälp till!




På banken tar de dina pengar. Och din tid. Här tar vi bara din tid.

www.livet.se/proverb