Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people |
Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing. |
Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony. |
Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a bit unchivalrous... |
For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, we spend an enormous amount of time standing around in line in front of windows, just waiting. |
Great literature must spring from an upheaval in the author's soul. If that upheaval is not present then it must come from the works of any other author which happens to be handy and easily adapted. |
I can't seem to bring myself to say, "Well, I guess I'll be toddling along." It isn't that I can't toddle. It's that I can't guess I'll toddle. |
I can't seem to bring myself to say, "Well, I guess I'll be toddling along." It isn't that I can't toddle. It's that I can't guess I'll toddle. |
I didn't ought to have went |
I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine. |
I don't trust a bank that would lend money to such a poor risk. |
I have been told by hospital authorities that more copies of my works are left behind by departing patients than those of any other author. |
I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well. |
I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well. |
I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry. |