52 ordspråk av Emo Philips

Emo Philips

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Emo Philips föddes den 7 Februar 1956 - US comic
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I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him.

Whatever happened to the good ole days, when children worked in factories?

Vissa morgnar är det inte värt att gnaga genom läderremmarna.

Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.

I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my skillful caresses, you would have sworn that she was conscious from the top of her head to the tag on her toes.

My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.

I'm a great lover, I'll bet.

Hur många här inne har telekinetiska krafter? Sträck upp min hand.

How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.

Spøkelse

I ran three miles today. Finally I said, "Lady take your purse."

Jag upptäckte min fru med en annan man i sängen och blev förkrossad. Så jag sa till dem. Kliv av mig, ni två!

I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, 'Get off me, you two!'

Äktenskapsbrott

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Computere

People always ask me, "Where were you when Kennedy was shot?" Well, I don't have an alibi.

Forbrytelse

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

Förlåtelse

Do you know why they call it 'PMS'? Because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken.

Spøkelse

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

Spøkelse

Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're the devil.

Mord

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