Probably the earliest flyswatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick. |
Probably the saddest thing you'll ever see is a mosquito sucking on a mummy. Forget it, little friend. |
Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared |
Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead. No, wait, not me, you. |
Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights,even if you don't know what your rights are, or who the person is you're talking to. Then on the way out, slam the door. - Deep Thoughts (Saturday Night Live) |
Sometimes I wonder if I'm patriotic enough. Yes, I want to kill people, but on both sides. |
Sometimes life seems like a dream, especially when I look down and see that I forgot to put on my pants |
Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the persons house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of it's head with a note that says "You." After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done. |
Sometimes you have to be careful when selecting a new name for yourself. For instance, let's say you have chosen the nickname "Fly Head." Normally you would think that "fly Head" would mean a person who has beautiful swept-back features, as if flying through the air. But think again. Couldn't it also mean "having a head like a fly"? I'm afraid some people might actually think that. |
Sometimes, when I drive across the desert in the middle of the night, with no other cars around, I start imagining: What if there were no civilization out there? No cities, no factories, no people? And then I think: No people or factories? Then who made this car? And this highway? And I get so confused I have to stick my head out the window into the driving rain---unless there's lightning, because I could get struck on the head by a bolt. |
The crows seemed to be calling his name, thought Caw. |
The crows seemed to be calling his name, thought Caw. |
The difference between a man and a boy is, a boy wants to grow up to be a fireman, but a man wants to grow up to be a giant monster fireman. |
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face |
The land that had nourished him and had borne him fruit now turned against him and called him a fruit. Man, I hate land like that. |