196 ordspråk av Jack Handy
Jack Handy
Jack Handy föddes 1991 och dog 2003 - and cast member of Saturday Night Live from
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 The memories of my family outings are still a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all pile into the car - I forget what kind it was - and drive and drive. I'm not sure where we'd go, but I think there were some trees there. The smell of something was strong in the air as we played whatever sport we played. I remember a bigger, older guy we called "Dad." We'd eat some stuff, or not, and then I think we went home. I guess some things never leave you. |
| The next time I have meat and mashed potatoes, I think I'll put a very large blob of potatoes on my plate with just a little piece of meat. And if someone asks me why I didn't get more meat, I'll just say, "Oh, you mean this?" and pull out a big piece of meat from inside the blob of potatoes, where I've hidden it. Good magic trick, huh? |
| The people in the village were real poor, so none of the children had any toys. But this one little boy had gotten an old enema bag and filled it with rocks, and he would go around and whap the other children across the face with it. Man, I think my heart almost broke. Later the boy came up and offered to give me the toy. This was too much! I reached out my hand, but then he ran away. I chased him down and took the enema bag. He cried a little, but that's the way of these people. |
| The tired and thirsty prospector threw himself down at the edge of the watering hole and started to drink. But then he looked around and saw skulls and bones everywhere. "Uh-oh," he thought. "This watering hole is reserved for skeletons." |
| The whole town laughed at my great-grandfather, just because he worked hard and saved his money. True, working at the hardware store didn't pay much, but he felt it was better than what everybody else did, which was go up to the volcano and collect the gold nuggets it shot out every day. It turned out he was right. After forty years, the volcano petered out. Everybody left town, and the hardware store went broke. Finally he decided to collect gold nuggets too, but there weren't many left by then. Plus, he broke his leg and the doctor's bills were real high. |
| There's nothing so tragic as seeing a family pulled apart by something as simple as a pack of wolves. |
| There's nothing so tragic as seeing a family pulled apart by something as simple as a pack of wolves. |
| To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other |
| To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad. |
| To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, Hey, can you give me a hand? You can say, Sorry, got these sacks. - Deep Thoughts (Saturday Night Live) |
| Tonight, when we were eating dinner, Marta said something that really knocked me for a loop. She said, "I love carrots." "Good," I said as I gritted my teeth real hard. "Then maybe you and carrots would like to go into the bedroom and have sex!" They didn't, but maybe they will sometime, and I can watch. |
| Too bad Lassie didn't know how to ice skate, because then if she was in Holland on vacation in winter and someone said "Lassie, go skate for help," she could do it. |
| Too bad when I was a kid there wasn't a guy in our class that everybody called the "Cricket Boy", because I would have liked to stand up in class and tell everybody, "You can make fun of the Cricket Boy if you want to, but to me he's just like everybody else." Then everybody would leave the Cricket Boy alone, and I'd invite him over to spend the night at my house, but after about five minutes of that loud chirping I'd have to kick him out. Maybe later we could get up a petition to get the Cricket Family run out of town. Bye, Cricket Boy. |
| Too bad you can't buy a voodoo globe so that you could make the earth spin real fast and freak everybody out. |
| We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can't scoff at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me. |
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varav 1407627 på engelska
Sprichwort (1469539 st) Suche
Kategorien (2627 st) Suche
Autoren (167535 st) Suche
Bilder (4592 st)
Geboren (10495 st)
Gestorben (3318 st)
Daten (9517 st)
Länder (5315 st)
Idiom (4438 st)
Längde
Toplists (6 st)
Diese Website konzentriert sich auf Sprichwörter der schwedischen Sprache. Einige Teile einschließlich der Links sind nicht ins Deutsche übersetzt worden. Diese Links sind hauptsächlich FAQ, verschiedene Informationen und Webseiten, die der Erweiterung der Sammlung dienen.
Här har vi samlat citat sedan 1990!
Vad är sprichwort?
Hur funkar det?
Vanliga frågor
Om samlingen
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 |
Diese Website konzentriert sich auf Sprichwörter der schwedischen Sprache. Einige Teile einschließlich der Links sind nicht ins Deutsche übersetzt worden. Diese Links sind hauptsächlich FAQ, verschiedene Informationen und Webseiten, die der Erweiterung der Sammlung dienen.
Här har vi samlat citat sedan 1990!
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