349 ordspråk i kategorin

Funny

I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks.

Groucho Marx (1890-1977)

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.

Andy Rooney (1919-)

I don't like spinach, and I'm glad I don't, because if I liked it I'd eat it, and I just hate it.

Clarence Darrow (1857-1938)

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

Will Smith (1968-)

I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

Lewis Grizzard (1946-1994)

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

Woody Allen (1935-)

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

Frank Sinatra (1915-1998)

I figured out Karl Rove's political strategy -- make gas so expensive, no Democrats can afford to go to the polls."

Senator John Kerry (1943-)

I got in an argument with a girlfriend inside of a tent. That's a bad place for an argument, because I tried to walk out, and had to slam the flap.

Mitch Hedberg (1968-2005)

I got up one morning and couldn't find my socks, so I called Information. She said, "Hello, Information." I said, "I can't find my socks." She said, "They're behind the couch." And they were!

Stephen Wright (1955-)

I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth.

Janeane Garofalo (1964-)

I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth.

Janeane Garofalo (1964-)

I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth.

Janeane Garofalo (1964-)

I had a dream last night, I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. I woke up this morning and the pillow was gone.

Tommy Cooper (1922-1984)

I had a dream last night, I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. I woke up this morning and the pillow was gone.

Tommy Cooper (1922-1984)

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