Poets have said that the reason to have children is to give yourself immortality. Immortality? Now that I have five children, my only hope is that they are all out of the house before I die. |
Raising children is an incredibly hard and risky business in which no cumulative wisdom is gained: each generation repeats the mistakes the previous one made. |
Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework |
She (his wife) is the wind beneath my wings. |
Sigmund Freud once said, "What do women want?" The only thing I have learned in fifty-two years is that women want men to stop asking dumb questions like that. |
Some authority on parenting once said, "Hold them very close and then let them go." This is the hardest truth for a father to learn: that his children are continuously growing up and moving away from him (until, of course, they move back in). |
Take that money and build something you can see ... something for the children. |
Thank you for remembering me. I'm also happy to be accepting this trophy before I become incontinent. |
That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle that the Vatican has overlooked |
That's not my daughter. |
The beautiful thing about older people is their ability to cut the fat off of conversation. When they talk, they don't go on forever and ever. They say what they have to say, and that's it. That was my grand dad. Some of the things he said stunned me, but his words were logical. I'll never forget them. |
The childless experts on child raising also bring tears of laughter to my eyes when they say, "I love children because they're so honest." There is not an agent in the CIA or the KGB who knows how to conceal the theft of food, how to fake being asleep, or how to forge a parent's signature like a child. |
The Cosby Show. |
The essence of childhood, of course, is play, which my friends and I did endlessly on streets that we reluctantly shared with traffic. |
The essence of childhood, of course, is play, which my friends and I did endlessly on streets that we reluctantly shared with traffic. |