I don't file reports anymore. I do movies, |
I don't know that much about women, |
I don't know why people think that somehow the First Amendment applies to network television. It doesn't. It's like the way free speech doesn't apply at work. You can't just walk into your boss' office and say 'you're a fuckface and I'm gonna go back to work now.' No, you're not. |
I feel your scorn and I accept it. |
I feel your scorn and I accept it. |
I guess this isn't going well. |
I have some sad news to report, Bjork could not be here tonight -- she was trying on her Oscar dress, and Dick Cheney shot her. |
I heard Dennis Kucinich say in a debate, 'When I'm president... and I just wanted to stop him and say, 'Dude.' |
I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about. And that's really it. You know, if I really wanted to enact social change… I have great respect for people who are in the front lines and the trenches of trying to enact social change. I am far lazier than that. |
I think there is nothing remotely gay about classic Hollywood westerns. |
I was born with an adult head and a tiny body. Like a 'Peanuts' character. |
I would think black people think everything is about race. They are the ones who are on the outside of the game. They are the ones who face it every day. |
I'm 38 and could very much bare my midriff, but it may make some people nauseous. |
I'm not just a boy toy. I have feelings and dreams like anybody else. |
I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over. |