I'll take Heaven for the climate and Hell for society. |
I'm glad I did it, partly because it was worth it, but mostly because I shall never have to do it again |
I'm glad I did it, partly because it was worth it, but mostly because I shall never have to do it again |
I've come loaded with statistics, for I've noticed that a man can't prove anything without statistics |
I've never let my school interfere with my education. |
I've seen many troubles in my time, only half of which ever came true. |
Ideally a book would have no order to it, and the reader would have to discover his own. |
If a person offends you, and you are in doubt as to whether it was intentional or not, do not resort to extreme measures; simply watch your chance and hit him with a brick. |
If all men were rich, all men would be poor |
If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. |
If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be - a Christian |
If everybody was satisfied with himself there would be no heroes. |
If He Tom Sawyer had been a great and wise philosopher, like the writer of this book, he would now have comprehended that Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do and Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do. |
If I cannot smoke cigars in Heaven, I shall not go |
If I cannot swear in heaven I shall not stay there. |