If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners. |
If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead. |
If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead. |
If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead. |
If variety if the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam |
Love, American Style. |
Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas. |
Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die. |
Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined. |
Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do. |
New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time, most unsolved. |
People will pay more to be entertained than educated. |
Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: 'Are your ready?'' |
The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money |
The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money |