The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money |
The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money |
The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other. |
They say atomic radiation can hurt your reproductive organs. My answer is so can a hockey stick. But we don't stop building them. |
To this day I can't get aroused until I see a pair of rubber dice hanging from the mirror |
To this day I can't get aroused until I see a pair of rubber dice hanging from the mirror |
We have two kinds of air: regular and chunky style |
We're more effective than birth control pills. |
What's all this fuss about plutonium? How can something named after a Disney character be dangerous? |
When turkeys mate they think of swans. |
Your chances of getting struck by lightning go up if you stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky, and say "Storms suck!" |