122 ordspråk av Mitch Hedberg

Mitch Hedberg

Mitch Hedberg föddes den 24 Februar 1968 och dog den 30 März 2005
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I saw a human pyramid once. It was very unnecessary. It did not need to exist.

I saw a product on late night tv. It said, you can water your hard-to-reach plants with this product. Who the fuck would make their plants hard to reach?! I know you need water, but I'm gonna make you hard to reach. I will throw water at you. Hopefully they invent a product before you shrivel and die. And they said, you can have this product for four easy payments of $19.95. I would like to see a product that was available for three easy payments, and one fuckin' complicated payment. We ain't gonna tell you which one it is, but one of these payments is gonna be a bitch: the mailman will get shot to death, the envelope will not seal, and the stamps will be in the wrong denomination...Good luck f*cker! The last payment must be made in wompum!

Funny

I saw some two-dollar bills today - They were for sale for eight dollars. Something went severely wrong there. What happened? It spun out of control... Now it's worth eight, still says two. I miss the two. I could break a two.

Money

I sick of "soup of the day" it's time we made a decision, i want to know what "soup from now on" is

I snake bite emergency kit is a body bag.

I think Bigfoot is blurry - that's the problem. It's not the photographers' fault. Bigfoot is blurry. And that's extra-scary to me. There's a large, out-of-focus monster roamin' the countryside. 'Run, he's fuzzy, get out of here.'

I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. There's a large out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside.

I think fooseball is a combination of soccer and shishkabobs.

Funny

I think pickles are cucumbers that sold out. They sold their soul to the devil - and the devil was dill.

I think Pringles initial intention was to make tennis balls. But on the day that the rubber was supposed to show up, a big truckload of potatoes arrived. But Pringles is a laid back company. They said "F**k it. Cut em up."

I think that they should call a cheese grater by its real name...a sponge ruiner.

I tried walking into a Target , but I missed.

I use the word totally too much. I need to change it up and use a word that is different but has the same meaning. Mitch do you like submarine sandwhiches? All-encompassingly...

Funny

I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too.

I want to be a race car passenger: just a guy who bugs the driver. Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Can I put my feet out the window? Man, you really like Tide...

Funny

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Här har vi samlat ordspråk i 12581 dagar!

Vad är sprichwort?
Hur funkar det?
Vanliga frågor
Om samlingen
Ordspråkshjältar
Hjälp till!

Varför är inte hela Internet såhär?

www.livet.se/zitate