'If you're going to suggest I try dropping twenty feet down a pitch dark tower in the hope of hitting a couple of greasy little steps which might not even still be there, you can forget it,' said Rincewind sharply. 'There is an alternative, then.' 'Out with it, man.' 'You could drop five hundred feet down a pitch black tower and hit stones which certainly are there,' said Twoflower. Dead silence from below him. Then Rincewind said, accusingly, 'That was sarcasm.' |
'It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever,' he said. 'Have you thought of going into teaching?' |
'You didn't have to go and kick me.' 'You're quite right, it was an entirely vouluntary action on my part.' |
'You won't get away with this,' said Cutwell. He thought for a bit and added, 'Well, you will probably get away with it, but you'll feel bad about it on your deathbed and you'll wish...' He stopped talking. |
’I'd have you lot up in front of the University authorities first thing in the morning, if it wasn't for the fact that you are the University authorities . . .' |
" I would like a question answered today," said Tiffany. "Provided it's not the one about how you get baby hedgehogs," said the man. "No, "said Tiffany patiently. "It's about zoology." "Zoology eh? That's a big word, isn't it." "No, actually it isn't," said Tiffany. "Patronizing is a big word. Zoology is really quite short." |
"I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worth while?" Death thought about it "Cats," he said eventually, "Cats are Nice |
"Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don't find out til too late that he's been playing with two queens all along." |
"Why does everyone run toward a blood curdling scream?" mumbled the Senior Wrangler. "It is contrary to all sense." |
A Thaum is the basic unit of magical strength. It has been universally established as the amount of magic needed to create one small white pigeon or three normal-sized billiard balls. |
Adventure! People talked about the idea as if it was something worthwhile, rather than a mess of bad food, no sleep, and strange people inexplicably trying to stick pointed objects in bits of you. |
Always be aware of any helpful item that weighs less than it's operating manual. |
An ancient proverb summed it up: when a wizard is tired of looking for broken glass in his dinner, it ran, he is tired of life. |
And therefore education at the University mostly worked by the age-old method of putting a lot of young people in the vicinity of a lot of books and hoping that something would pass from one to the other, while the actual young people put themselves in the vicinity of inns and taverns for exactly the same reason. |
Ankh-Morpork had dallied with many forms of government and had ended up with that form of democracy known as One Man, One Vote. The Patrician was the Man; he had the Vote. |