Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages. |
People who are rather more than six feet tall and nearly as broad across the shoulders often have uneventful journeys. People jump out at them from behind rocks then say things like, "Oh. Sorry. I thought you were someone else." |
Pets are always a great help in times of stress. And in times of starvation too, o'course. |
Reja Vu: The feeling that I will be here again |
Rincewind formed a mental picture of some strange entity living in a castle made of teeth. It was the kind of mental picture you tried to forget. Unsuccessfully. |
She'd stopped reading the kind of women's magazine that talked about romance and knitting and started reading the kind of women's magazine that talked about orgasms, but apart from making a mental note to have one if ever the occasion presented itsel |
So many crimes are solved by a happy accident, by someone of the right nationality happening to be within 5 miles of the scene of the crime without an alibi. |
Something as artificial and human as an hour wouldn't last five minutes here. It would be dried out and shrivelled up in seconds. |
Sometimes it is better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness |
Somewhere around the place I've got an unfinished short story about Schrodinger's Dog; it was mostly moaning about all the attention the cat was getting |
Sooner or later we're all someone's dog |
Suicide was against the law. Johnny had wondered why. It meant that if you missed, or the gas ran out, or the rope broke, you could get locked up in prison to show you that life was really very jolly and thoroughly worth living. |
Taxation is just a sophisticated way of demanding money with menaces |
Taxation is very much like dairy farming. The task is to extract the maximum amount of milk with the minimum amount of moo. And I'm afraid to say, that these days, all I'm getting is moo. |
The [printing] press waited, ... It looked, now, like a great big beast. Soon, he'd throw a lot of words into it. And in a few hours it would be hungry again, as if those words had never happened. You could feed it, but you could never fill it up. |